Note: This post is a bit more personal but seeing as this might be something that would hit home for many transgender folks like myself, I decided to open up and write about it. Trigger warnings for suicide, rape, depression and dysphoria.
Losing a job is never easy for anyone, including myself, but this reminded me of past events and I thought now was a good time to reflect and come to terms with my past in order to keep moving forward. To be clear, the issue isn’t because my source of income is gone. It is because this event added onto the broken record that played over and over in my mind as a trans person: “You’re not good enough.”. Whether it’s a potential romantic partner telling you this when a relationship is on its last legs or when a family member isn’t supportive of your transition, the message is there. That message definitely was in the back of my mind when my bosses took me to the back room to tell me that I wasn’t a good fit for the company. The message “I am not good enough.” repeatedly rang through my head and brought me back to that dark, scary place I was in two years ago when I had received a rejection letter from graduate school and a phone call hours later telling me that I was being let go from my job.
Continue reading “I Am Enough: The Past and the Present”